Holla
Taget från Myspace:
I don't know why i can here. Recently my thoughts have been in english for some reason. I doesn't matter. Sometimes the word flow better this way.
I'll turn 21 in nineteen days (first time i've said it out loud). "They only want you when you're seventeen. When you're twenty-one you're no fun." This city makes you believe it's october, not the 6:th of december. Still the winter is here. But instead of snow we have rain, and lots of it. But for once it's no mist outside, the sky isn't ash-gray. You can almost enjoy the sunlight casting down inbetween the thick clouds. Almost.
I'm down to my last pack off smokes. It's kinda sad. I spend my last money on that. And i'm gonna enjoy them to my last breath.
Although i've lost a few pounds, i still dislike my body more than anything. It doesn't show anywhere on my body that this or that area has been decreased because of my wheigth-loss. When i look at my thighs it feels like they're filled with nitrous oxcide (also known as laughing-gas), and anytime soon they'll explode, giving more ammunition to the one's who's already laughing their brains out. It's actually quite phatethic. Not like i need approval or compliments from others. But my eyes doesn't see what everybody else sees.
From time too time i feel angsty. Out of nowhere. I don't have anything too feel angsty about. I've got no job, no nothing. I'm looking forward too the nothingness. I don't see any future for myself. I'm basiclly doomed. But still, all those stupid feeling comes, rushing up too the surface. I feel like crying. Often at nights, when everyone's asleep. I feel like hurting myself most of the time. But my selfhate comes in the way. I cannot even look at my body.
But enough about me. How you been?